What is Worth Living For?

For my english class, I had to write about a personal significant moment that happened to me this semester. I thought about the cave day, and how much it affected me. So even though Jenny Mumby has already talked about this, I wanted to share with you my thoughts and feelings about that day, because it changed my life.

What is Worth Living For?

“I want you to imagine that you are in a cave. Suddenly, the cave collapses, and there is only enough air for ten people to live. Decide if you want to live, or die.”

I was shocked, and scared. What was my professor saying? I knew this was not real. After all, I was sitting in my classroom, on the floor, surrounded my people I had met weeks before. What was I going to do? Did I have anything to live for that was more important that someone else’s life that could be saved if I was willing to die?

Buzzing filled the room. Many were willing to die. People split down the middle of the room: those we wanted to live, and those who were willing to die.

Then the questions started to fly. Who was going to live? Many girls, most the married ones, decided that they wanted to live. They had husbands who loved them, and needed them. But we were short. We had to have ten people, and we only had seven. So what was the most important?

Was it the pre-missionary who needed to go and preach the gospel to the people that the Lord had prepared for him?

Was it our professor, who had a wife and children to provide and care for?

Was it a woman, who wanted to live, because that is what we were sent here to do?

Was it selfish to want to live?

I looked around the room at the room at the people I had met only two and a half weeks previously. In that short time, I had come to love them. I knew that I could not be one to live. There were so many wonderful men and women in that room who deserved to live much more than I did. So I decided to die. Then the thought hit me. If this was a real cave, and there had been a real collapse, how many of us would already be dead because of the rubble? I then realized that I would not have survived the crash—not with my small body and health problems. Realizing that caused my eyes to water, but I fought back the tears. I would not let them win.

Slowly we convinced two others that they needed to live for different reasons. We had one left to choose. But, who? One girl then shared why she was willing to die. Her father had passed away earlier, and she really missed him. She knew that he would be there to guide her home. Even though her mother needed her here, she also knew she would be okay.

When I heard that, I could not take it any longer. The tears started to fall, as I sat there and marveled at the sacrifice she was willing to make for people she hardly knew. I also knew it was not fair for her to die. And so I said, sobbing, “Please, just go. You deserve to live.”

Others agreed with me, and then we had our ten survivors. My eyes were not the only wet ones as the realization sank in. But then a twist came into the story.

The professor told us that an after shock came, and the air hole was filled. We all were going to die.

I had come to terms with that fact, and I was okay with it. There was enough air in the cave to allow all of us to breathe for ten more minutes before we were all going to die. Time was given for us to write a letter to whomever we chose. Tears streaming, I wrote this last message:

Where do I start? Life is so precious. Live every moment. Don’t be afraid to try new things. Love everyone. Don’t be judgmental. Everyone is beautiful and needed—and needs to feel loved.

To my family and friends—I love you. You have been a great inspiration and help to me. I want you to know that I love you, but I also want you to know that I know that the church, the gospel of Jesus Christ, is true. I know that the Atonement is real and is for everyone. I know that we can be together for forever. Please remember to do the little things. But most importantly, just remember to love. Listen to what others have to say.

Life is too short to just think about yourself. Go out and help those around you. I love you.

Learn. Act. Share. Live.

More tears were shed as some shared what they had written to their loved ones. That was a monumental day for me. While I knew that we were not really in a cave, and I did not really die, it made me think: what if I was to die today? Have I done enough for others? Do the ones I love and care about know it? Would I be missed? Was I ready to die?

In that short ninety minute class period, those forty people went from strangers, to people I truly loved and cared about. If that situation was to really happen, I would have gladly give my life for any of them, no questions asked. I grew as a person that day, making me more willing to listen to those who needed a lending ear. I became more willing to serve those around me. I wanted to do the little things. I wanted to spend more time with my family. I wanted to become more like my Savior, and to follow Him.

In the end, it made me want to be a better person, full of love for everyone around me. Sometimes life is hard, because we are going though a rough time. Sometimes people are mean towards us. But in the end, they are probably going through a hard time as well, and just need a friend. I want to be that friend.

So what is worth living for? I think that loving, caring for, and serving others is what matters. We should not judge, and always be willing to lend a helping hand and a willing heart. That is what I learned that day.

And it changed my life, for good.

-Jacquelyn Done