Should I stay or should I go?

So, the most amazing, but possibly toughest class for me was the day that we all suffered in the cave together. It was really hard for me to not raise my hand to say that I was needed here on earth. I come from an inactive family, I am the only active member (with the rest of them, though baptized, pretty much anti-Mormon.) I know that they could use me here on this earth. I feel that that is my number two reason for even being here (next to my future family). I know they could use my help. But, I know either way, with me here on this earth or not, one day they will believe in and live this Gospel. My family is pretty lost- most of them having drug addictions, and all of them loving alcohol. It is so hard to see my nieces and youngest sister go through so much that is totally out of their control. I know they can make it though, I did and they were on harder drugs when I was young. And so for them, I would love to be able to stay here to be an example to them. It was so amazing to me to think about what my last words would be to them. It felt good to finally let them know my deep feelings and testimony of the Gospel. I still haven't sent them the letter, I worry about how they will feel. They think I am judging them all of the time. But I know one day I will be able to tell them... You know, if I don't die in an accident tomorrow (which I almost did this semester when I hit a moose...)

I also loved reading Stargirl. She is so opposite of me that she completely captivates me! All the things that I wish I could do she does and she loves every minute of it! I love to meditate and to observe people... But to act on my thoughts and feelings... I am WAY too shy.... But I am sick of shy being an excuse... And this class has taught me that it really shouldn't.

On a side note... I have always had a love of childrens literature. Any time I see a childrens book, I have to pick it up and read it! I have been able to be with my 3 year old niece a lot this semester and she loves to be read to, and I love to read to kids, so it has been very fun! i have really loved this class and getting to know you guys!

KaraGreenBackpack